


we got all our lives to lose

by ShanleenKinnJaskey



Series: Coming Back As We Are [22]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabble, Episode: s04e18 Shooting Star, M/M, School Shootings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4424273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShanleenKinnJaskey/pseuds/ShanleenKinnJaskey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The New Directions just heard the shots go off. What will Blaine do if he and Kurt are still together? </p><p>Coming Back As We Are 'verse Shooting Star AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we got all our lives to lose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skivvysupreme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skivvysupreme/gifts), [PurrfectStories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrfectStories/gifts).



> Title is from "Make A Move" by Icon For Hire.

_"Now close your eyes,_

_And start to breathe._

_Allow the noise to recede..._

_...Allow yourself to drift and fly away._

_But you just stay."_

_-The Lifting, R.E.M._

 

_"Have no fear for giving in_

_Have no fear for giving over_

_You'd better know that in the end_

_It's better to say too much_

_Than never to say what you need to say again_

 

_Even if your hands are shaking_

_And your faith is broken_

_Even as the eyes are closing_

_Do it with a heart wide open..."_

_-John Mayer,_ Say

 

Blaine's fingers shake as he pulls out his phone, trying to take deep breaths to calm himself down. He can't have a flashback now, not when everything is finally going right again. Not when Kurt and he have nearly gotten back to where they were before, when he hasn't had a nightmare in at least a week and a breakdown in twice that. He can feel one coming back, flashes of _that night_ brought back by the _crack_  of the gun. He can hear, as if through a layer of water, Sam yelling for Brittany, Artie trying to get into a good position, and Marley sobbing for her mother. Tears aren't coming for him (he feels like he's cried enough for a lifetime), but if he can't get ahold of Kurt then they might start soon.

His fumbling fingers manage to get the phone unlocked and he quickly swipes for Kurt's number. Opening the messages, he types:

**cant talk now. shots fired in school. just know that**

And now he can't see the screen, the tears flooding into his eyes. He's Blaine Anderson, he _doesn't_  cry in public, but he can't help it. All those old thoughts he'd thought he'd gotten rid of are coming back in the darkness of the classroom, surrounded by silence only broken by desperate sobs. He's going to die alone, unwanted and unlov-

He chokes on a wet breath and scoots over to Kitty before he loses it. "Kitty," he whispers, holding out his phone in a trembling hand. "I need you to-to finish this text for me." He can barely hold himself together now, his words hitching on the lump forming in his throat. "I-I can't h-handle it right now."

"Sure, Blaine," Kitty says softly, "What do you want me to write?"

"I-I love you," Blaine mumbles, bringing his knees up to his chest like he used to do as a child during thunderstorms, when he needed comfort from what he feared most and there was no one who could give it. They might _die_ today.

It's easy to hear the _tap-_ _tapping_  of Kitty's fingernailss against the screen in the now near silence of the room, and soon Kitty hands him back his phone. "Anything else, Blaine?"

Blaine shakes his head, the lump in his throat growing as he takes the phone. Kitty doesn't seem to mind it when he can't voice his gratitude. "It's going to be alright, Blaine, I promise," Kitty says, and even though Blaine can hear her voice trembling the words are comforting. He tries to calm his breathing down, (1,2,3, _breathe in_ , 1,2,3, _breathe out_ ) and eventually it starts to work.

He's not going to die. He's going to see Kurt again, and everything is going to be alright. He's going to get through this, and he'll be back with Kurt tonight and he'll be able to hold Kurt in his arms and kiss him and go back to normal again.

He just has to ignore that little voice in the back of his head that says _if you don't die first._

Seconds later his phone vibrates in his hand, and Blaine glances down to see a single glowing text message.

**Everything's going to be okay, honey. I love you too, and you'll be fine, and when you get home tonight we're eating cheesecake because we both need it, damn my figure, and watching Disney movies. How does Cinderella sound?**

And now Blaine, despite the horrible circumstances, has to force himself not to laugh.

Things are  _definitely_ going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> And we all know that on the other end of the line Kurt is freaking out and trying to hold it together for Blaine's sake and Burt is keeping him calm until they get news from the school.
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos and give comments! Comments are my air!


End file.
